Few songs have achieved the enduring legacy of The Beatles’ “Let It Be.” Penned by Paul McCartney, the lyrics remain etched in collective memory:
“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be, let it be. And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”
In an interview with the Salt Lake Tribune, McCartney shared the inspiration behind this anthem of calm acceptance (1). As he described, during the turbulence of the late 1960s, McCartney was weighed down by personal and professional challenges. One night, his late mother appeared to him in a dream, offering simple yet profound advice: “Let it be.”
He woke with clarity, moved by her words, and soon composed what would become one of the most beloved songs of recent times. That message—let it be—continues to resonate as a universal truth.
A Personal Lesson in “Letting It Be”
Early in my career as a cardiology faculty member, I learned this lesson firsthand. I was called by a member of the radiology staff and asked if I would be willing to present to their group a lecture on advances in cardiac imaging. I readily agreed but understood the date to be tentative and, regrettably, never confirmed it or entered it into my calendar.
Months later, I received a sharp memo from the scheduling radiologist, chastising me for missing the lecture. The letter accused me of being irresponsible and mentioned that many were disappointed. It was copied to eight others, including my department chief.
I felt mortified and angry. I drafted a pointed response, copied to all the same people. But before sending it, I showed it to a trusted colleague.
“Don’t send the letter,” he said.
“What? I have to! I feel humiliated. She never even confirmed the date!”
“It doesn’t matter. Her letter is excessive, and people will see it for what it is. If you respond, you’re just fueling the fire. Trust me—let it go, and people will move on.”
Reluctantly, I heeded his advice. I never sent the letter and, true enough, the issue quietly faded away. That experience taught me the real power of restraint—of letting it be.
When to Let It Be
Over time, I’ve learned there are many situations where it’s better to pause and refrain from acting on negative emotions. Here are a few scenarios where stepping back can be especially helpful:
Angry Mode
Your child is being disrespectful or ignoring instructions. Frustrated, you try to correct them immediately, but they resist, escalating the situation. Your irritation builds, and soon, the moment becomes more about your own frustration than effective discipline.
Step back. Give both of you time to cool down. Later, when you’re calm, your child will be more receptive, and you’ll respond with greater wisdom.
Hurt Mode
Your spouse makes a cutting remark during a disagreement. Hurt, you try to explain your feelings but are met with defensiveness or irritation. The conversation derails, deepening the tension.
Hold off. Recognize that your spouse is feeling low and emotions are running high. Address the issue later, when both of you can engage with understanding.
Depleted Mode
You’re exhausted after a long day. You send a quick email to your boss about a forgotten task. He responds curtly. Immediately, you assume he’s upset with you and begin to imagine the worst.
Resist overanalyzing. Fatigue distorts perception. Sleep on it. More often than not, things will appear less urgent or threatening in the morning. The sense of catastrophe is coming from your depleted state, not the email.
The Law of Negative Moods
All these scenarios share a common thread: negative mood states—anger, embarrassment, hurt, or fatigue—skew our perception and decision-making.
When we are calm or content, our minds operate in an expanded, open state. We think more clearly, communicate more patiently, and make wiser choices. In contrast, negative moods constrict our mental aperture. We become reactive, tunnel-visioned, and prone to amplifying problems.
A simple but vital principle emerges: do not fully trust your thinking when you are in a negative mood. More often than not, your best move is to pause, gather perspective, and let it be.
Returning to McCartney’s Dream
Paul McCartney’s dream serves as a reminder. In our “hours of darkness,” when challenges loom large and emotions run high, wisdom sometimes whispers the simplest advice: Let it be. Let it be.
Mastering this mindset takes practice, but with time, we gain the ability to discern when action is needed—and when stepping back is the most powerful choice of all.
Final Thought: A Simple Challenge
The next time you find yourself reacting—to an email, argument or frustrating situation—pause. Ask yourself: Will responding in this moment make it better, or am I acting from emotion?
Sometimes, the wisest response is no response at all.
References:
¹ Paul McCartney says “Let It Be” came to him in a dream. Salt Lake Tribune, 2011. Accessed at https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=52552400&itype=cmsid on January 13, 2021.
